On Getting the Business End of Integrity and Grace Unforseen

Hello again friends.  I would like to start this blog with a disclaimer.  I am functioning on 13 hours of sleep (8 of which are sleep by definition alone with absolutely no "rest" being involved) over the last 4 days.  I am extremely tired and very likely will be a bit rambly if not at times completely incapable of focused thought.  Bear with me.  I am more excited to attempt to write this blog than I have for any of the others and, really, just about anything I have written period. 

And it's all because of one of the worst 24 hour periods I have had in quite awhile.  Maybe worst isn't the right word, disappointing and stressful probably fit better. 

As many of you who suffer through my ramblings probably know, I went to Las Vegas this weekend.  I was absolutely blessed by my beloved and incredible brother (Thank You God for such an amazing sibling...Beth is okay too I suppose.  Just kidding sis.  Love you.) with the opportunity to get my Level 1 Crossfit Trainer certificate.  I found this out about three weeks ago and have been eagerly awaiting my opportunity to go to this wonderful seminar.  The trainers I know all told me about how amazing the sessions are.  Working out with high level Crossfitters.  Learning from the elite of the sport.  Needless to say I was a big furry, sorry ladies, ball of excitement as I headed to Rochester to get on my plane to Sin City. 

I arrived at my gate 2 hours early.  Like I said Excited. 

And that's when the bottom fell out. 

You see it turns out you can't land airplanes in blizzards.  Well, correction, you can but it usually also includes emergency vehicles, a big fireball and looking for a black box.  So, I arrive at my gate and get a phone call from American saying "Your flight has been canceled."  Not delayed.  Canceled.  Also known as, forget this dream you have been looking forward to fulfilling.  You aren't going. 

So I did what any sane person would do.  Through an internal hissy fit and then started trying to fix the problem.  Asking people if I could pay them to give up there seat on the last flight out of Rochester.  The offer went up to 100 dollars and no takers. 

Why was I so adamant that I get to Chicago that night?  Because I assumed that if I missed the seminar, even due to acts of nature I would be fresh out of opportunities to get certified and my brothers money would have been wasted.  (It is important to note that I didn't think about it like this on Friday.  I saw it as MY money being wasted.  What a jerk I am at times.)

I called Crossfit Max Effort, the site of the seminar and told them what was going on.  They assured me that it would all be okay as long as I studied my materials hard and get there as fast as I could.  I thought "great!  I am going to get my way! Yay me!"  So I got on the first thing smoking out of Rochester in the AM.  I should arrive at 1030 and not miss THAT much of the seminar.  If only. 

Delays, delays and more delays later I finally arrived at Max Effort at 1230pm.  I had missed 25% of the course but was still expecting to get my way.  When they told me I wouldn't be taking the test I was absolutely crushed.  I had gone through so much.  Studied so hard.  Why wouldn't they make an exception for me?  It was the weather's fault not mine!  I was the victim of something I proclaim to support.  Integrity.

That's right.  Crossfit HQ said no go because I had missed 3 hours of training.  A couple of lectures and a break out group about proper squatting.  I was viciously angry.  The staff apologized profusely and yet I stated my sad story repeatedly hoping something would work out.  It didn't and you know what?  I THANK GOD THAT IT DIDN"T!

What was initially supposed to be a weekend about adding to one of my hobbies and favorite pursuits ended up changing me spiritually.  You see, after I had my 30 minute mope session (seriously, it was like I was wearing skinny jeans and had bangs hanging in my eyes while listening to Coldplay or the Verve) I started to think about what this so called rejection meant.  What it meant was Crossfit has standards they will not break on.  And thats a great great thing. 

What would you say to a doctor who admitted he was able to skip a year of med school because of some unforseen event in his or her life?  I would say "get away from me you quack!"  I would also seriously question the degree granting institution that allowed this person to get through with out, you know, actually doing what was required. 

Now, i do have to admit that the next bit of info is vital to my response to this situation.  This was the solution Crossfit HQ offered to me, in no small part because of the incredibly caring and wonderful people who ran the Vegas seminar.  I would be allowed to stay at the seminar, if I wanted to, and would very likely be given the opportunity to take another Level one Seminar (in many ways a premium product of Crossfit) for free. Think about the significance of this offer.  I missed my shot at this seminar.  Though the weather was clearly involved, I, a born and raised northerner, should have realized that if you want to get somewhere during the winter you better plan ahead and allow some wiggle room.  All I would have had to do is select that earlier flight, to make sure I would get to this important event, and this would have all been avoided.  I am not without fault here.  And even though I missed a major part of the course, the people providing it allowed me to finish the course and also are going to give me another full seminar for free.  Two premium products for the price of one.  Absolutely amazing.

So instead of getting one weekend of premier training from some of the best athletes in the world, I get two.  And while I am grateful for this incredible opportunity, it is not the biggest part of this weekend for me. 

I am GLAD crossfit didn't allow me to get my certificate after not completing the entire course.  Seriously.  While I appreciated the massive support form my friends and family when I found out that I wasn't getting the chance to take the test, I am glad it happened.  Because it makes the Crossfit Level 1 certificate mean more.  I am glad because the sport I love has standards and will not bend.  It made me realize that I have turned grace, the prescious gift of God, into an entitlement program.  Just as I assumed that I would be entitled to take the test because I am smart, and my story was sad and the money was paid, I too often assume that in life I will get exactly what I want, regardless of if I show up on time or not.

As I processed through what was happening, I went from anger to frustration and sadness to understanding.  Not because I am super smart.  I have had 6 concussions so I can't be the bright or I would stop smashing my head into things.  I got to understanding because God made it so.  He helped me to see that I will be better for all of this happening.  I will receive twice the training of a normal level 1 trainer.  I can view this as a burden (my initial reaction) or a blessing that will make me so much better than I ever thought I would be (my current state of mind brought to me solely by the Holy Spirit.  

I wrote a blog about Hebrews 12 not too long ago.    "Now, discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."  Hebrews 12:11

I am being disciplined.  Not in the, you are getting a spanking because you put gum in your sister's hair (Sorry Beth) kind of way but discipline like the athlete and Disciple I proclaim myself to be.  As I thought about this situation, I started to realize that if I told my story of how I became a Level 1 trainer, I would undoubtedly have to explain how Crossfit let me slide even though i didn't do all the work.  That would reflect badly on my integrity and Crossfit's. 

As I spoke with one of the friends I made in Vegas about this whole situation, he told me that I was an upright person.  That there was truth in my talk and that reflected well on me.  (Moises, shout out to you.  I hope you have gotten some sleep by the time you read this.)  As he said that I realized that it wasn't me talking.  It was the new me, that is constantly being made by the Spirit.  If it was me talkiing, I would be complaining about it being unfair and blah blah blah. 

Instead God helped me see that integrity is really important.That  Crossfit had standards and a resolution to my breaking that standard was arrived at that was pure grace while maintaining their integrity.  God also showed me that God has integrity and it was that very integrity that made it necessary for Jesus to go to the Cross for me.  God demands perfect submission to His standards.  Because of that demand Jesus went to the Cross for me, which honestly is not how I wish that it would have played out.

   (Just to be clear I am not saying Crossfit is God...so stop typing that comment).   

Like I said this has sort of been a ramble fest.  But it was important for me to get this out now, while I am still basking in the revelation that God gave me about the relationship between integrity and my perceived rights.  As well as the incredible grace that so frequently arises out of nowhere.

Many who supported me this weekend with their words talked about the unfairness of the situation.  It was weather that caused it all after all.  I could very easily have lived in that sentiment and remained unchanged and uncomforted and unhappy.  Instead I realized just how spectacular it is that I am now enrolled in the Ann Arbor Level 1 Seminar and I will go free of charge to one of the best things Crossfit does.  Crossfit DID NOT HAVE to do what they did.  I had no reason to expect such a blessing.  Infact I expected what most people probably would...that my opportunity was missed.  That my brother's incredible gift woudl be wasted.  I would curse the God who has given me so much and ask why He let that storm stop me.  (I know I would do this because I DID do it.) 

I thank God that this all happened.  Every last minute of it.  I am a better crossfitter than I was on friday.  Sure thing.  But honestly, I feel like a very important page has been turned in my life as well.  How dare I expect grace.  The audacity.  I would love to say it will never happen again.  But seriously, I know it will.  And I thank God that he promises me grace anyway.  I just hope I thank Him for it a little sooner next time. 


This could have been shorter, I am certain of that, but it wasn't.  Thanks to everyone who made it through to the end. 

God Bless and may we all have a little more integrity and may we all handle others integrity without complaint.  And may we cease expecting grace.  Amen...or something. 

Concerning Standards and Integrity

 1 Peter 1:13-16  Therefore prepare your minds for action; discipline yourselves; set all your hope on the grace that Jesus Christ will bring you when he is revealed.  14 Like obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires that you formerly had in ignorance.  15 Instead, as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in all your conduct;  16 for it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."

One of the absolutely beautiful things about Crossfit is the level playing field. Unless of course you talk to any Crossfitter over 6'. They may tell you a different story. However, that isn't what I mean by level playing field. What I mean by this is that everyone does the same workout, with some differences for skill and capacity. In a given gym on a given day, you will have a Crossfit Games competitor and a mother of three doing the same workout. Both will complete it, but in different times. However, the standards that each is measured by are the same. The clock. And the form. However, it is the form that is drawing my attention right now.

The clock definitely speaks volumes about an athlete's performance. However, without adherence to the proper form, the time becomes meaningless. Enter the standards. Do you achieve your arms to total lock out on a Shoulder Press. Does your hip crease go below parallel during your squat? Does your chest hit the deck during burpees or push ups and so on. These standards allow for us as athletes to compete with each other but also with our selves. 

Anyone who has been “no repped” during a WOD or competition knows how frustrating, disheartening and borderline infuriating it can be when someone tells you you have not held to the standards. But hold to them we must. This is our level playing field. Everyone is held to the same standard. As long as there is someone there to watch.

Peter was great, if not a bit thick headed and impetuous, when Jesus was around. He was the disciple of disciples. Jesus picked him as the cornerstone leader of the fledgling Church. Yet mere moments after Jesus was arrested Peter was denying him. Mere days after his death, Peter was back to fishing instead of continuing to hold to the standards Jesus had set for him. It is not that Peter didn't have anything to go on either. He had just spent three years following Jesus closely throughout the area we now call Israel and Palestine. But when Jesus was gone, Peter lost his standards. He didn't have his coach staring him down looking for the attempt to do what's easier instead of right that all coaches know is lurking around the corner. It didn't stop there either. 

The Apostle Paul wrote the majority of the New Testament because the churches he helped to found were straying, some times drastically from the standards they had been given. If it wasn't a son sleeping with his father's wife in Corinth, it was a group demanding that every male in the church get circumcised in Galatia. Then of course there were the people in Thessalonika that decided that they didn't need to work or doing anything at all since Jesus was going be back like 2 days ago. The point here is that Paul had to remind his “athletes” to adhere to the standards of the faith. 

This became particularly crucial when the Church started meeting fierce opposition in the form of oppression and persecution.  It became a capitol crime to be a Christian and this is where the metaphorical polymerized tree sap was hitting the metaphorical paved surface for travel.  The decision was no longer just between remaining a jew/ gentile and becoming Christian.  It was a decision between life and death.  It was that point in Murph where you realize that you still have another mile to run and all you want to do is quit because you can't handle whats coming.   And this is where the Christians of that and many ages after have said, "I will carry on no matter what."  Inherent to this is also a commitment to adhering to the standards of the Church as well.  At any point the church could have lessened the resistance from the surrounding culture if it had compromised on some of its core claims.  But it didn't.  At least for a long time it didn't. 

I think this has been lost in the Church. We have become so focused with “getting people in the door” that we do not ask for them to adhere to the standards of the church but instead change the standards to fit the people. In Crossfit terms this is the equivalent of saying a single under counts as a double under and a Back Squat counts if you only go a quarter of the way down. You don't like going to full depth? No problem, lets change the standards. 

Now do not get me wrong here, I have no delusion of saying that all Christians follow the standards all of the time. This very fact is the reason Jesus came to save us from ourselves. The standards are doable, but it is our nature to try to find short cuts or do something that feels better. "Like obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires you formerly had in ignorance." 

Full depth squats do not feel as good as quarter squats, but they are in fact what brings life. They are the standard for a reason. God's standards are standards for a reason. But we don't always have someone watching everything we do do we? This is where integrity and virtue enter the conversation. 

In my time in Crossfit, I have come to realize that times that seem too good to be true many times are. Sometimes this comes from a simple mistake in the rep structure. Guilty.  Sometimes it comes from a miscalculation of the distance run/ walking lunged. Guilty. But sometimes, it comes from abandoning form and seeking our own standard of what is right or wrong.  I pray that I am not the one to do it, but know that in the end I am almost certainly guilty of it. It is our way as human beings, disciplined though we may be most of the time.

This is why community is so essential.  Why coaching is so essential.  Crossfit focuses so diligently on building the community and keeping each other accountable.  This is something the Church needs more of.  Most Crossfitters will admit that they need coaching.  They are fully aware of their desire to "cheat" because of the difficulty of the workouts/ movements and because of it are thoroughly aware of their need for someone to watch and correct them. 

Oh how I wish this were the case in the Church.  So often it seems that Christians think they can do it on their own.  "I don't need to go to Church because God is out in the boat/ on the trail/ in my nice comfy bed with me."  It's just me and Jesus.  That is all fine and good.  But who is keeping you accountable?  Who is making sure you are actually disciplining yourself properly instead of getting into bad habits?  Human beings have been notoriously bad at seeing ourselves for who we really are.  Crossfitters without coaches are extremely likely to have bad form, bad habits and bad standards.  Christians who never go to Church to be with others and have some "coaching" from a pastor or peers are extremely likely to have bad theology, bad habits and bad standards. 

Let us all work toward standards.  Let us all work toward integrity.  Doing the Christian life and Crossfit right  entails trying to get better and meet the standards set out for us.  Not finding ways around them.  This is often hard but joyous work.

If Crossfit ever gets "easy," you aren't doing it right.  If the Christian life ever gets "easy," you aren't doing it right.

Discipline yourselves.  Have standards.  Demonstrate integrity.